A Father's Heartfelt Reflection On The Life And Tragic, Senseless Loss Of His Son, Luke Miller.
Luke was our everything, let me start by saying myself and Donna worked hard in life to build a home before bringing a child into this world. Luke was planned for in every sense of the word, when we found out Donna was pregnant with Luke we were both so overjoyed! Filled with love and happiness! Myself and Donna started getting ourselves ready for our new baby, preparing a nursery, building all the furniture by hand, all for our new arrival as the pregnancy progressed in each day past our happiness and love grew stronger.
Luke was delivered early by c-section and was placed in a special baby unit for two weeks, weighing only 4 pounds when he was born. When we were finally able to bring Luke home our lives felt complete! It is impossible to put into words how much love we both felt for Luke! As a baby Luke suffered from extreme colic which gave him a hernia and a hydra seal, resulting in Luke needing to have an operation at the young age of just 2 years old. I stayed by Luke’s side as he was put to sleep for his operation and insisted that when he came round I was the first person he saw, his dad. I did not want my little boy to be scared when he woke up in a strange place, with people he didn’t know. They agreed but I had to be put into a wheelchair holding Luke in my arms to take us back to the ward.
As a small child Luke was very happy, carefree and extremely loving. Donna dedicated her time to being a full time mum as both myself and Donna wanted Luke to have the very best start in life. Donna was the perfect mum, nothing brought her more joy than spending her time looking after our son, taking him to every baby toddler group and day trips out. Life was perfect growing up, we took Luke everywhere together, cheering him on and being his biggest supporters whilst playing football, cricket and any activity that he enjoyed.
Every night before bed Donna would run the bath while I play games with Luke, hide and seek was his favourite, but he would always hide in the same place! After bath time Donna and myself would read a bedtime story which Luke picked out, we would continue reading until Luke fell asleep. This was every night without fail until Luke was at least 8 or 9 years of age.
Luke was always happy and full of life, we never saw him miserable or quiet at all. He loved doing jigsaw puzzles with his mum and building Lego with me. We had quite a large garden in which we spent many hours playing football, cricket and more hide and seek.
As Luke grew into a teenager he became a strapping young man, so many people commented on how polite and well mannered Luke was. Along with his good looks and lust for life. Luke was not academic at school, instead he was a hands on sort of guy taking after myself, we spent time in the garden working on projects together. From making bird boxes and tree houses through to a cabin for him and his friends to use.
We thought it might have been a mistake building a cabin as Donna was like a housemate, making food and cleaning up after them, doing everything in her power to make sure Luke was happy. But that being said, we knew where he was and that our son was safe!
Luke went to college when he finished school as he wanted to be a carpenter, he spent his spare time helping me to do up houses along with helping his mum with the milkshake business we had in York. Luke later got a job as an industrial fencer which he loved, he would travel and work all over the country.
This was his first real time being away from home, Donna would still get up every morning to make Luke sandwiches and a flask of hot soup on cold winter mornings, which she did out of pure love for our son. She was a great mother, it never bothered her at all, not one bit as she just did it out of love.
Luke like most young adults at that age loved to party and go to various festivals, all of his friends told us that Luke was so funny and witty, always wanting to please other people. As a parent you can understand that there was a lot of sleepless nights waiting on him to come home from a night out, as soon as we heard the front door go we knew that he was home safe and sound, so that we could then go to sleep.
Luke’s best past time was grooming himself, always having a fresh haircut and taking lots of selfies to make sure that he looked perfect, which of course he wasn’t. In our eyes he was perfect in every sense of the word!
Donna and Luke would talk and send text messages to each other every day, Luke telling his mother how lovely his sandwiches were to asking if she could wash a top or iron some trousers, along with general chitchat. It’s always gave me great comfort knowing that they had such a special and strong bond. The conversations would always end with Luke saying love you mum and Donna replying I love you too.
The day of Luke’s murder, on Boxing Day, we received a message from Luke’s girlfriend Alice saying to ring for an ambulance, we both got in our car and drove to Tadcaster, as we knew that Luke was stopping at a friends house. They were having a bit of a Christmas party, as you can only imagine we came into Tadcaster seeing the police cars, ambulances and road all taped off, and instantly we thought the worst.
Our nightmare was then confirmed when a police officer told us that Luke had been stabbed to death. The hurt and torment inside ourselves was like nothing I’d ever felt before. It’s indescribable, the loss of our only child that we love and care for all our life has just suddenly ended like this, sickening beyond belief.
We drove home feeling numb to the core, with tears streaming down our faces, completely sick to the stomach. All I wanted to do more than anything in the world was to hold my son in my arms. But we were told I couldn’t because of it being a murder investigation.
My son had been left lying on the pavement for hours with a tent over him whilst the forensics team did what they had to do. I know this is necessary for the investigation, but it is absolutely heart breaking knowing that your child is laying there all by himself. All I wanted to do was hold him like he was when he was a baby, devastation does not even come close to how we felt.
Nobody can truly understand unless you have felt that loss for yourself. Luke was our only child, and we loved him so much. At the young age of only 23, he really did have his whole life ahead of him. How can you even start to understand that level of pain?
We were not able to see Luke for days. Then we finally had the opportunity, it was just through a glass screen. Only me and my sister saw my son, as I did not want Donna to go through that pain. The image of my son laying there haunts me and gives me nightmares. Still to this day I cry and have breakdowns every single day.
On top of our worst nightmare coming true, we had sold our house just before Christmas, and as a family, we were moving to a new build house together. Luke had picked what tiles he wanted on the floor of his bathroom and the carpet for his bedroom. Our new build house was due for completion at the end of March. So not only were we grieving, having to try to come to terms with the loss of our son in such tragic circumstances, but we also had to leave our family home of 18 years.
The weeks following the funeral, we had the heartbreaking job of boxing up all of our sons personal and sentimental possessions, putting things into storage and temporarily having to move back to my mothers house. I can’t put into words how all that stress and upset is even possible to comprehend. I honestly don’t know how we did it, but somehow we did.
Myself and Donna love each other so much, and what I need to do now is keep my wife happy and safe as best as I possibly can. My son will be looking down on us and would want us to try and live a happy and somewhat normal life.
To even try to imagine how my sons life was ended in such a horrific way, it’s so hard to think about the way Luke died. A part of us both died that day with Luke, and the ripple effect on our families has been absolutely devastating.
Every single day is a struggle. The thought of not seeing our son again, not hearing his voice or seeing that cheeky smile, holding him or being able to tell him how much I love him, eventually settling down, getting married, buying a house and having children of his own. It has all been taken away from Luke, myself and Donna.
What gives any man the right to take another man’s life in such a horrific way, causing so much heartbreak to myself, Donna and the wider family? This individual will now come out of prison still younger than what many of us are now.
Our lives will never be the same again. He is a monster, that is the best word I can describe him as.
Luke, wherever you are please remember this, we loved you more than life itself. If I could, I would swap my life for yours in a heartbeat. We love you son, and you will live in our hearts forever and always.
